Questioning my anxieties

 

An anxiety spiral is managed not curedI am so tired of getting stressed out every time the boys go surfing. I know they and their dad are getting pretty fed up with me as well. It has begun to spoil my relationship with them. I have been looking for things to do to try and change the situation. For past couple of months I have focused on the sharks but today’s post is about me. I have been researching my fear.

Selachophobia is shark phobia, I do not think I am actually phobic but I am well on my way.  Everytime the boys say they are having a surfing weekend, I can feel this sense of panic I get sweaty and agitated and I can’t seem to think of anything else. I know the boys are capable and aware, their instructor is one of the best and is not some young idiot. Its me, the whole time they are away I am worrying and constantly calling the mobiles to the point they turn them off.  I decided I needed to do something and that something is cognitive therapy. This is a therapy that assists in changing the way you feel by changing the way you think about a situation.  I like that it is goal orientated and focussed and that it will give me back some measure of self control. I have been for two sessions now and am starting to understand the anxiety spiral I get into every time surfing is mentioned. At the moment I am working at stopping my anxiety spiral from accelerating. I am using some breathing techniques and a wristband technique and feel like I am gaining some perspective on the problem. The boys and hubby are coming to the next session with me. they have told me they are proud of me for tackling the problem.  I keep reminding them and myself that I am learning to manage it not cure it but if it lessens the rising tension in my home it will all be worth it.

Shark trailing behind unknowing surfer
For those of you who expected to see a shark on this blog: My biggest fear.